The Chauffeur

As Trick Daddy's song "I'm a Thug" came to an end the Manu Ginobili, Big Boi, and Frank Sinatra looked at each other and knew it was time to head back to the area around the hotel.  A flash mob had broken out in the bar on top of the parking structure and the "ticket purchase line" and "get your drink line" system had begun to get confusing.  The three amigos needed an local pub to call home back a the base.  That is when the met the hero in the strife, Chauffeur.

When they first met Chauffeur, he seemed like a regular guy.  He spoke a language that Frank couldn't really understand, but he felt it was necessary to ride in the front seat so he called shotgun.  Manu decided to ride behind the driver (silly concept because he was clearly the tallest person in the cab) and Big Boi rolled his tinted window down and was riding dirty in the backseat behind Frank.  The typical banter was struck up between the four comrades and Chauffeur really wanted to impress his new acquaintances.  While the three amigos were asking things like what are the local churches like, where could they find a great meal, where could they catch a great local futbol game; because they would never ask something insulting or derogatory because they were all raised from astute southern families. Chauffeur provided answer which none of them could understand but the three nodded their heads just as if they were fluent in Spanish.  Then, all of a sudden Chauffeur must have not understood Frank's hand signals because he decided to one up them.  That is when he asked Frank to get something out of the glove box.

At first Frank did not know what he was asking.  See, Frank was at a disadvantage because Frank obviously spoke the least amount of Spanish of anyone on the trip.  Thoughts were going through Frank's head: Am I about to be shot?  Is he going to sell us drugs? Where is the nearest Waffle House?  Once Chauffeur got out what appeared to be a CD case everyone felt relieved.  That is where the whole adventure began....

(Insert favorite techno beat here.)
(Honey being squeezed out of a jar by a cook with absurdly large painted fingernails.)

Holy Christmas! Chauffeur had just inserted a promotional DVD for Platinum Strip Club.  He told us it would only require a mere 30k pesos for us to go there.  (After looking it  up online, Frank confirmed Big Boi's first thoughts.  This is not the Pink Pony in Atlanta.) It became immediately awkward in the taxi at this point.  At the next stop light Chauffeur offered the option to go to Platinum of the hotel.  Manu, Big Boi, and Frank all answered immediately, "El Hotel!!".  Of course no one knew where they were. After Frank said "doble a la izquierda" he noticed Big John's Convenience Store so a point of reference had been established.  Big Boi had mentioned Big John's Convenience Store earlier as it appeared to be the equivalent of a package store just as he remembered back in Atlanta.  Big John's was right next to the hotel so they knew they were home.  This is when the amigos parted ways with Chauffeur and what was one of the more uncomfortable cab rides of their lives.

Big Boi's stress level had reached its peak and he turned in for the night.  Manu ran inside Big John's to get some smokes and a Gatorade to quench his thirst.  Then Manu and Frank met up with El Hefe to begin the next adventure of the night.... Playback Studios.